Hello, Hello! Welcome 😊
This week has been a full week. We began our week by trying a new homeschool curriculum with our girls, which is exciting. So far, so good.
But Friday was the biggest day! Our ultrasound day!!! The day we hoped to find out the gender of our 5th baby. We have 4 little girls already- would this make a 5th daughter or 1st son? The anticipation!!! Thankfully, our scan was booked in for 8am. Our friend Debbie came with us to the scan, while my friend Katy looked after our other 4 children.
The stakes were high. Many people saying they hoped it was a boy. As if we lacked a pivotal part of the puzzle without a son. Hehe Others said it would be easier to have all girls. My husband didn’t mind either way, and he is a proud dad of our 4 girls. However, he’s always had a desire to have a son.
I have never had a real craving to have a son. I thought a son would be nice, but if we had 9 daughters…I probably wouldn’t feel disapointed. It’s funny how we are all wired different. Although, I have had some very sweet cuddles with a couple of baby boys recently that may have melted my heart a little. That – and my nephew called ‘baby’ Jamie is very cute! So I was a little boy clucky.
Ultimately though, girls are all I’ve ever known. My girls are each such precious gifts. I have never felt like I was missing out because I only had girls. My tribe of girls are the best. And I thought that whatever the gender of this bubba- I would feel excited. No doubt I would have been thrilled either way.
When we were told that this baby was a boy…we were sooo suprised! I told the ultrasound man that I didn’t believe him! Hehe
Then he told me to look at the screen. He pointed to the part on the screen where you could tell the gender. It was certainly clear. “We have NEVER seen one of those on our scans before!!!!!!” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The ultrasound man told us it was conclusively a boy. No doubts.
Then something happened. My heart was filled with joy and excitement!!! I felt so proud of this little baby growing inside my tummy. Who knows why! Proud of something the baby had no control in! 😆 My heart changed in that moment. Like my heart grew. The shape of my heart changed. Like how it changes when you welcome your first baby….then your second baby and every one thereafter.
So we are expecting our 1st boy. Our first Son.
A son I didn’t know I was craving in particular. In fact, maybe I would have even chosen another daughter if I had of been given a choice. It’s easier to crave what you already know and love. How can you desire something, when you feel so content with how things already are? Why change things?
Because I didn’t know…
I didn’t know we were missing anything. I didn’t know that I would feel such joy. Who knew that my heart would react so strongly? Who knew that the revelation of a son coming would change my outlook?
Suddenly, when I see boy babies in the shops I feel really blessed that we will hold our own boy in January. Suddenly, I’m part of another club: “The mother of a boy” club. Haha I’ll be part of the conversations about raising little boys. (I’m a long term member already of the raising girls club) 💜💜💜
This morning at church I felt God’s presence really strongly. It was refreshing.
I was thinking about the baby growing within me, and laughing to myself at how overly excited I feel now. Like how shocked I was when I fell in love with my husband, and became the most mushiest love struck girl out of my friends. When I had always thought that love was gross or that hanging out with my friends would be more fun.
I suddenly realised something deep and powerful. I never knew that a boy/son could add anything to my life. A boy surely couldn’t make much difference, when I had all that I craved in my girls already.
Just like us and God.
Before you come to know God or ask Him into your life- you just can’t see it.
You can’t fathom how the revelation of knowing Jesus could possibly change your life. Why would you? Your life is so full of good things already?
Or maybe bad things? Maybe you think knowing God could make things worse? Too many rules? Sundays are your sleep in day?
But on friday the 14th of August, at our ultrasound. Life changed in a monent. My future changed. I haven’t even held this baby yet or seen him with my eyes- but none of that matters. The mere knowledge of him is enough. My connection with him is enough. The promise of things to come, is enough to start with.
I pray that if you have never craved a relationship with God- that you will have a life changing moment. Like my scan, when my ears heard “It’s a boy” and my heart came alive in such an unexpected way. (But a million times better when you encounter God!)
I pray that even if you don’t ‘see the need’ to know God or feel like it would add anything to your life…that one moment could open your eyes. That you would feel a joy you never expected. Your heart would experience something entirely new!
Maybe you just don’t know about it yet…
Because you don’t know Him. You don’t know yet. But He could suprise you. Just like my little son has suprised me.
Love always Kelly xx