Taking risks and being humble enough to fail.

This year, my heart is ready to step out in faith again. There are dreams and ideas whirling around my head. Mostly, I think they are “God ideas”: or they could be “good ideas” or at worst- “terrible ideas”!! 😂🤣😄

The first dream that has resurfaced within my heart is to become a foster mum, or foster carer. I’ve had this desire in me well before we had our own children, and it’s been something I’ve asked Will to consider for the past 10 years. 😆

This year, it has made me feel restless. A determination to step out in faith. We aren’t a perfect family, but we do desire that all children have a safe home and a loving family.

Then the doubts harass me: “How Will you cope, when you already have your hands full?”

“How will you cope when sometimes it is challenging to parent our own children?”

“What if it’s a mistake? What if you crash and burn? What if you bite of more than you can chew?”

Ask me any questions on this topic, and I’ve probably already thought of it.

But what if…..

What if we can provide a child with a loving home? What if we can help create a few beautiful memories with them?

What if God is prompting us to do this, and we say no because of fear of the unknown?

What if…God wants us to pray for the kids that spent time in our home? What if we are the only Christian family they will meet?

What if…our girls learn what it’s like to care about the needs of others? What if it ignites a passion to welcome children into their homes one day, and they aren’t afraid to be carers either?

And if we aren’t in the right season? If I’m wrong, and God isn’t calling us to foster? Then we learn to be humble and admit: “We heard wrong” or “the timing wasn’t right.”

Here’s the thing: I can deal with failures and mistakes. Although they sting and are embarrassing at times. However, when I look back on my life I don’t want to regret “never stepping out in faith” or being too afraid to try. Disappointment and regrets are harder to swallow than mistakes.

What do you think? Have you ever had an idea that terrified you and also burned within your heart?

This week we sent an “expression of interest” to the NT foster care agency. We prayed: “God, if it’s not meant to be please shut this door” and “Lord, bless this application if you want us to be carers.”

The other dream or idea is even crazier! But yet, it is like a seed in my heart that feels like it’s growing rapidly.

We want to Homeschool our girls. At this point, we intend to commit to one year. Starting next year: 2021. But we are open to starting this year, too.

Now, if we get crazy glances from people when we mention foster care (because we have our hands full already); I can imagine the looks of people when you read about homeschooling!!!!😂😂😂😂😄

That’s ok. I feel doubtful at times, too.

It feels the same as how I feel about fostering. Exciting and terrifying.

Trust me, I see my own weaknesses fairly clearly. Yet, it is not my weaknesses that define me. I want to live a life of faith. Of taking risks and trying new things. Of being willing to “give it a go”. Even if it doesn’t work out for our family, then I will be able to say “At least I tried”.

And maybe it is something God is leading us into? Maybe it isn’t a God idea, but a value I have on raising my kids? Or in the very least: a good intention.

I know that I cannot do everything, especially in my own abilities. But I have a Saviour called Jesus who does say that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. That’s where the impossible, suddenly becomes possible. The weak becomes strong.

Who knows what will become of these hopes and dreams? Only God knows our future. All I know is that our future is in God’s hands. Whatever that may look like. As for me and my house, We will serve the Lord.

Yesterday we made memories.

Yesterday was a pretty good day. It was Saturday and we wanted to have some family time.

In the morning, 2 of our girls had their swimming lessons. My other 2 girls have their swimming lessons on Wednesday.

We ate lunch at home. Then bribed each of our girls with .20 cents if they napped for us! 😂😊 best investment we could make. Haha

Then we heard that there was water in the claypans!!!!! “Let’s go, husband!!” I almost begged Will.

We packed towels and spare clothes for our family of 6.

It was beautiful.

The scenery. The muddy water was perfect temperature and perfect depth to just splash and enjoy it.

I didn’t even have to stress about baby Haven, it was so shallow she could play anywhere she liked.

I even got in this muddy water. We only live once- so why not!!!

We stayed at the clay pans for an hour or 2. And our friend Paula also joined us, with 2 of her children. Friends and family times are the best kind of days!

We ended our family day full of dirt, wet clothes and a full load of washing to be done. But it was worth It!

Because yesterday we made memories!

Love always Kelly xx

Which one will you choose?

What a gift we each get, with a life to call our own. We fill it with a lot of things, and hopefully create a home.❤❤

We live and learn and make mistakes, and grow along the way. How good it is to start again- with the beginning of each day?

We’ve all had those times when we’ve messed up, and wanted to hide our face. But the beauty in our brokenness is that we all have needed grace.

We each share this in common: the desire for forgiveness, mercy and love. That’s the sneaky thing about Jesus, that desire comes from up above.

I think that God has placed these feelings in the depths of our very soul; The need to love and be loved in return- to be forgiven and made whole.

We all are born as sinners, but God knew what must be done… He knew that we’d need forgiveness and so He sent His only Son.

Jesus gave up his life to fix what was once broken. When He was nailed on the cross His final words were spoken:

“Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do”… These words were so important and they were spoken for me and you.”

And with eternity waiting, there’s so much at stake to loose: There’s only two paths to take- Which one will you choose??

Love always Kelly xx

You are the ink, and I am the pen.

Lord, I just want to live a life of faith.

I only want to Trust and Hope in You.

Would you please turn my imperfect life into something beautiful?

Lord, would you use me to encourage others and lift them up?

You are the ink, and I am the pen. Could you please use me to write a story that honours You?

You are the song in my heart and the music that makes my spirit dance. Give me a dance of faith that brings You joy.

Your holy Spirit is the rhythm that moves my heart.

Sometimes I forget that you have been God since the beginning of time. I try to give you advice on what might look good. 😂

Can you give me a gentle nudge back in line when I try to tell You how my life should look?

Let my voice sing praises to You, even when it’s hard to sometimes understand what your working on behind the scenes.

Let my feet only follow Yours. I’m just a little girl trying to walk in her Daddy’s shoes…

And let my life be a painting of Your love and freedom that comes from Trusting in you.

Love always Kelly xx

I'm going to tell them…

I was reading a few great verses in the Bible this morning.

One that stirred my heart was Ephesians 2:10. “We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”

I love this verse, because I really do believe that God has a specific plan for each of our lives. He gives us a circle of influence. He puts us in roles unique to His plan for our lives. Then He gives us little opportunities to be faithful and to listen to His direction.

For me, I don’t work. Maybe you do, and who knows what opportunities God has set right before you to love and encourage those you sit next to each day?

I, on the other hand am a ‘stay at home mum’….but who really is a mum who specifically ‘stays at home’? 😆😂🤣 Am I not allowed to leave my house? That’s hilarious!

Part of my season of life is raising my beautiful children. And I know that God gives me mini opportunities each day to “do the good works He has prepared for me in advance”. Like livng a life of faith and trying my best to listen to God’s little promptings. These are usually little moments or thoughts that are from God. Like: “You should go see this friend today” or “Maybe I could write this person a little card to remind them that I love them.”

I think most God moments are simple, little demonstrations of loving others and being thoughtful. Because God is love.

I can pray for my friends at play group. Or i can just listen to how their week has been….Because God has placed a specific group of women in my life during my years of raising 4 little princesses.

I can pray for my girl’s school, because 2 of my girls go to school. I can have a coffee date with a friend who is also raising little ones, and who knows how God can use our conversations to support each other?

There is also a verse that says: “Let each generation tell it’s children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.” Psalm 145:4

In my days of looking after my girls, I can live out this verse! I can tell my children about God’s mighty acts! Firstly, I can read them stories from the Bible about the miracles God did since the beginning of time.

But my favourite thing is to tell them stories about what God has done for our family! Like God giving us our first baby naturally, when the doctors said that I couldn’t ovulate without medical assistance.

I also love to tell them about our journey to Africa…and how God made that possible.

This past week, I got to tell them another story of the goodness of God.

I told my girls that our dog Rosie needed dental surgery. We adopted Rosie recently, as she was my mum’s dog.

The vet said that Rosie’ s teeth need removing, that they are so bad that they are being held together by tartar or decay. The surgery would be very expensive. Our family didn’t have enough money, but I felt convicted that we should do our best to take care of her.

So, one morning I wrote a prayer in my journal. I prayed: “God, please cover the cost of Rosies dental surgery!” Even though it seemed impossible when I wrote it.

“But guess what, girls!?!?!” I said excitedly! “God answered my prayer!” By the end of that very day that I prayed, God had provided the money. A bill that I was expecting to pay, came in WAY under what was originally quoted. So much So, that I had enough money set aside that could now be used for the surgery. How incredible is that?????

My girl’s eyes lit up!!! And I felt so grateful that I could share this story with them, about the goodness of God and the power of prayer.

So the question is… What good works has God prepared for you to do today?

Who can you love on or encourage in a simple way?

And “What stories can you tell your children about God’s mighty acts?”

I can’t wait to see what today could hold.

Love always Kelly xx

Bit by bit…

Saying goodbye to my mum is strange. Tomorrow will be the 28th of January, one month after mum passed away.

Some days I feel fine. I’ve felt peaceful and calm. Like God has buffered the grief. But these past few days, I can feel the sadness and loss. You know those times when you can feel the tears forming just close to the surface? Like they could spill out with just the smallest nudge?

How can this be it???

I often walk past a photo of my mum in the hallway and wonder: “How can she be gone?”

My mum was such a courageous woman of faith. She made me proud. She loved to laugh. She loved life. She raised her kids well.

I guess grief is something that you feel bit by bit. It’s unpredictable and strange.

One moment I think of mum in Heaven, with God and I feel good. Another moment, my mind remembers parts of the past few months and I re-live the trauma of loosing my mum to cancer.

It was hard. It was exhausting. And it was emotional. I cried a lot. My brother James cried, too. How grateful I suddenly feel to have siblings. I have 2 brother’s: James and Ali.

I’m now more aware of how valuable it is to have someone who shared the same parents as me, and who miss the same people. When I was worried about my mum, James was right there feeling the same thing. And in the times when I want to remember something special about my mum, I know that James will laugh along with me or understand the depth of my loss.

We have both shared so many common experiences. Maybe that’s why God created family. Not just parents- but siblings. I didn’t see the value as keenly as I do in this current season!

On the note of siblings, it reminds me of what my best friend Catherine (katt) & I used to say to each other: “You’re the sister God forgot to give me!” 😘😊 bit cute, Hey?

I think sometimes friends get adopted into the role of family too. Like my bestie, Katt. I never got a biological sister, so we just claimed each other as sisters!

Or my aunty Shirley. She’s not my aunty by blood, but by heart….and she has been adopted into that position since I was young.

Then there is my aunty Jean and uncle Tom. They were my first pastors growing up, but now they are adopted family. Love them so much!!!!❤❤ (& the list could go on and on).

❤❤Even amongst the hard times and the grief, there are precious gifts worth celebrating.❤❤

Sometimes we can’t control the sad things that we face. However, we try our best even though we still face pain and heartache.

Yet I’ve seen God do a thousand miracles in my own life! So why didn’t mum get healed like we had prayed? I have no answers to that.

But I do know that God does heal some people. So, I will keep praying for other people to get healed….just like my mum never stopped praying for others.

And I know that God sees the bigger picture.

Today, my children reminded me of this simple truth.

My baby Haven, who is 1 years old was grumpy at me today. She desperately wanted to follow me outside to the backyard, while I went to hang up some washing on the line. I put her in her play cot with toys instead. She screamed in frustration!! I explained to my 7 year old, Ariella, that Haven couldn’t understand my reason for not letting her follow me. But I knew that if she walked outside, her feet would get burnt because it was such a hot day! We also have no grass to protect her feet from the scorching dirt. It would be a nightmare! So, I was protecting her even though she was too young to comprehend my motive.

It doesn’t mean that I’m not crying and frustrated, just like Haven was. But I know that God loves me. So, there must be something I can’t comprehend yet…

“God, please help me when I miss my mum. Please support me as I think about how much I’ve lost, now that she’s gone. Give me joy in my memories, instead of this stinging sensation that makes me feel like I can’t catch my breath at times. You know that I’m just a little girl at heart….who misses her mum and needs a cuddle.

When I meet you face to face in Heaven, could you please show me what I can’t understand right now?”

Love always Kelly xx

Choosing Him.

This year Will and I just want to focus on Jesus. We don’t want to get to the end of the year without knowing more about who God is. Actually, I don’t want to get to the end of my life: and not really know who God is!

So, we put the TV in the shed! I’ve deleted my Facebook. Well technically, it is deactivated for 30 days and then they delete it. But you get the point. It’s only been a few days, and I feel more peaceful. More able to listen to God’s little promptings. And because I am less distracted by technology, I’m going to bed on time. Then I’m waking up earlier, and spending the quality time with God that I need. How quickly I can see that little changes are making a big difference.

You see, I want to live a life of faith! I really do want to live a life that pleases God. I want to stand before my creator and Heavenly Father one day and hear the words: “well done, good and faithful servant.” (Matthew 25:23)

My question is: “What does it look like to be a Christian wife and mum of little children?” Or big children…

If I really put God first in my life and chased after Him like He was the most valuable person in my life; how would my life look?

I have lots of friends that I admire and are full of faith. I have friends that love God and are consistently trying to love Him more. But, when I hear women preachers who inspire Me, I’ve somehow missed the messages about motherhood and faith. About seeking God in the middle of nappy changes and morning routines. I want to be inspired! I want to see God’s heart for mums. I want to see how God can transform a home: from the parents, through to the children. I want to see the possibilities! I want to live out the possibilities in my own life!!!

Don’t you???? Don’t you want to know what your life would look like if God was the focus of your day? Don’t you want to see what God could do if you gave Him your attention and “Yes”? I think it would be amazing….I think we would be filled with joy and wonder.

I think when we say “Yes” to God, that’s when life becomes more interesting. 😊😄❤❤❤❤

Currently, I am getting up at 5.20am. I get about an hour of reading my bible time and prayer. Then my girls start coming into the lounge room at 6.30am.

They must eat immediately…because they are apparently starving!!!!😆😆😂

Then the day begins…

And I do try to keep Jesus in my mind during the day. I play worship music, and my girls sing with more passion than my ears would like! (But it’s super cute!)

I definitely send quick prayers up to God throughout the day: “Lord! Please help me to not loose my temper! But I can’t work under these conditions! 😆🤣😂” (usually as my 7 year old rolls her eyes at me after I serve lunch or ask her to clean up a mess…that she’s made!)

But….I want More! There has to be More! That’s what I’m asking God for this year: more.

More time with Him. The ability to hear His voice more. My hunger for Him. More passion to teach my girls about Him. I want to stop saying things that would hurt His heart. I want to stop doing things that would grieve Jesus. I want to be different. To live a life with no regrets.

I want to wake up with Jesus on my heart and go to sleep knowing that despite the chaos of my day: I loved God to the best of my ability.

And then I want to be ready. Ready to see what God can do with my decision to Trust Him. And I want my girls to see what miracles God can do when we are willing to be obedient.

“Lord, let me be faithful with the little things. Then, let me be faithful with the bigger things.”

Love always Kelly xx