Crying at Optus.

How much effort does a trip to Optus usually take? Not a lot.

Well, maybe of you have children… or if your elderly. Or really pregnant πŸ€£πŸ˜—πŸ€”

Normally paying a bill or finalising an account isn’t a big deal. However, my mum is dying. It sounds dramatic, especially as she looks ok.

Little cutie pie xx

Yesterday, we had a lovely visit from aunty Cheryl S. Aunty Cheryl helped mum by only visiting briefly, but also by shopping for mum. Little blessings are big helps!

By 3pm though, we were exhaisted: mum & I. My 3 year old was screaming….although she declared that she “wasn’t tired!!!” πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

We couldn’t leave it another day, it had to be today! Time when mum is able to do these things may be limited. Who knows what tomorrow will hold?

We told ouselves: “We need to get this done!” Mum needed to pay her plan outright, to go ‘prepaid’. Because we need to make things simpler, less accounts to close when we are grieving later. It sounds horrible, and with every thing we do, it reminds us that mum is sick.

Mum gets tired quickly. A short walk is a real effort. She uses a walker to sit down and recover, before walking further.

After getting my two girls out of the car, and watching mum struggle to walk all the way into Optus: we arrive!

Victory! We made It! “We can finally tick this job off our list!” We think to ourselves.

But no. Apparently, we must wait until November 24th. Mum explains, “she’s terminal”, she gingerly says “I might not be here by November 24th!””, while a tear trickles down her face.

The staff tell us there is nothing they can do. We can pay the “payout” amount, and the final bill will be sent once they calculate her usage after the 24th.

Can’t someone calculate it for us, now? We ask. Feeling overwhelmed, at this point. Tears threatening to spill out into public view.

We are advisesd to call customer service. Maybe they can help? Mum and I glance at each other, we are so fragile emotionally. The thought of one more business phone call or enquiry seems impossibly hard to bare.

Have you ever felt like that? When the simple, feels impossible?

Then we try another option: Could Optus give me permission to act on mum’s behalf? Could mum sign something to tell Optus that I can pay her bills etc?

“Unfortunately, we can’t do that in store”, they reply.

You see, those Optus guys don’t know what it took for us to get there. They don’t understand how many “affairs” we have already had to organise. It’s not their fault. But this cancer, is hard work!

It’s exhausting to tell strangers that mum is dying. It’s exhausting finding paperwork in mum’s draws to quote another customer reference number. πŸ€£πŸ˜‚

We left Optus, Brielle still mid-tantrum. Mum saying “I’m so over all of this!!! She looked so weary, and so frustrated.

We are just trying to do the right thing. Pay bills. Finalise direct debits. Cancel subscriptions.

Little things are hard to process:

Will mum really appreciate her new dentures she had fitted a few months ago, but aren’t ready to collect yet?

Even mum’s garden, which we water every day…soon there will be no one to tend to it. This won’t be our property snymore.

And then we think about mum’s dog: Rosie. Who will love an old, dying puppy after mum passes away? A 2 day drive up to Alice Springs seems unlikely. But what is the alternative?

By the end of the night, we were ok again. Some days are good, and others hold moments like our Optus trip.

“Lord, we are tired. Physically and emotionally. Yet, our hearts still whisper: ‘Will you carry us through this?’

Lord, you see our raw and vulnerable hearts. ‘Please give us enough grace to walk this season with courage and faith’.

Thank you that you say that your mercies are new every morning…

Thank you that today, we go on a little holiday!!!! You knew that we would need one right now. Thank you that you go before us, even when we are too tired to see everything you are doing on our behalf.

Thank you that we don’t have to pretend to be strong, you let us come to you: weary, broken and vulnerable. But you never leave us alone that way…

Love always Kelly xx

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s