Surrendered does not mean defeated.

As Christians, there are deep truths etched into our hearts and hidden deep in our spirit. These truths we learn from the Bible, or from solid Christian teachers or role models. Sometimes the knowledge of these things also come from the Holy Spirit, and from experiencing them personally.

For example: I know that although I may plan my future, it is God who guides my steps. My future is in God’s hands. I cling to the knowledge that God is good, even when things are hard.

Recently, my mum decided that after Christmas she would come live with my family in Alice Springs.

I have been blessed with the role of her carer as she lives with terminal cancer. I say blessed, yet it is hard. I say blessed, although her illness and disease is not a blessing in itself.

The blessing is that I have witnessed my mum’s faith growing. I have sat with my mum for 11 weeks and seen every trial, and every victory! I have learnt things that are only taught by the firey trials that life sometimes throws at you! I have been blessed by the compassion and love of many people who have uplifted us during this time.

I’ve been living with my mum for a few months now in Adelaide, but soon my children must go back to commense school in the new year. My husband has to return to work, too.

We had a rough plan. After Christmas, we would all travel to Alice Springs. We would enjoy Christmas in Adelaide, and have a few weeks to get organised for the journey home. It was a good plan.

All of that changed today.

Mum’s palliative care team advised us to speed up our plans. They are concerned that mum’s feelings of wellbeing may be short-lived.

We are praising God that mum has felt much stronger this past week! My mum believes that God is extending her time. I agree. It is a miracle that mum is still alive today, especially when Christmas seemed impossible!

Unfortunately, the palliative care team credit mum’s new strength to the steroids working, and masking the battle within her body.

Either way, we are grateful for each day that my mum feels well and in good spirits.

Either way, we are grateful for the medication helping to relieve some of the symptoms of the disease.

Either way, we thank God for the wonderful palliative care team who have loved my mum so well during the past few months. In particular, our palliative care nurse Practitioner called Wendy. She has been such an incredible gift to our family.

Even though our hearts are still hopeful for our miracle, we have decided to follow the recommendations of the palliative care team.

Our plans have changed so quickly! We must now book a flight for my mum to travel to Alice Springs. Meanwhile, my family will pack our car and drive home with our 4 daughters. We have 3 days to prepare.

With all of the uncertainties of the past few months, I’ve dealt with mixed emotions: hope and faith mixed with hopelessness and fear.

This is when the deep truths of God kick in! This is when my spirit cries out within me: “God isn’t finished!”.

You see, the Bible reminds me that God is in control. That He is a miracle-working God. That His plans are to prosper me, and not to harm me! His plans are to give me a hope and a future!

This is when the deep truths of my heart flow back through my mind: a life surrendered to God can never be defeated!

In the past, every season that I have willingly surrendered my life and future to God- I have felt the most peaceful.

You see, I believe that a life surrendered to God is not a passive or weak life! It is an empowered life! A life of faith and trust! It takes a determination to continue to say to the Lord, “I trust that your version of my life is the best version”.

In human terms, surrender is a weak sign. Surrender equals defeat.

Spiritual surrender is the opposite: it fills us with joy! I’ve experienced it.

I need to decide again to surrender my plans to God. To declare “God, I trust you are in control!”

And most relevant in my current circumstances: “God, please give me the grace to do the things you have planned for me to do!”

“Lord, give me courage to face the unknowns. Give me comfort when all hope seems lost. Give me the capacity to encourage my mum when she is sad. Please, help me!!!!”

Love always Kelly xx

One thought on “Surrendered does not mean defeated.

  1. God bless you Kelly through this journey how ever tough it gets.God is faithful and will carry you through it when you feel overwhelmed with emotions that are so intense.He bottles up all our tears and hearts our heart cries.Praying for you all,love Jane.

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