This year, my heart is ready to step out in faith again. There are dreams and ideas whirling around my head. Mostly, I think they are “God ideas”: or they could be “good ideas” or at worst- “terrible ideas”!! 😂🤣😄
The first dream that has resurfaced within my heart is to become a foster mum, or foster carer. I’ve had this desire in me well before we had our own children, and it’s been something I’ve asked Will to consider for the past 10 years. 😆
This year, it has made me feel restless. A determination to step out in faith. We aren’t a perfect family, but we do desire that all children have a safe home and a loving family.
Then the doubts harass me: “How Will you cope, when you already have your hands full?”
“How will you cope when sometimes it is challenging to parent our own children?”
“What if it’s a mistake? What if you crash and burn? What if you bite of more than you can chew?”
Ask me any questions on this topic, and I’ve probably already thought of it.
But what if…..
What if we can provide a child with a loving home? What if we can help create a few beautiful memories with them?
What if God is prompting us to do this, and we say no because of fear of the unknown?
What if…God wants us to pray for the kids that spent time in our home? What if we are the only Christian family they will meet?
What if…our girls learn what it’s like to care about the needs of others? What if it ignites a passion to welcome children into their homes one day, and they aren’t afraid to be carers either?
And if we aren’t in the right season? If I’m wrong, and God isn’t calling us to foster? Then we learn to be humble and admit: “We heard wrong” or “the timing wasn’t right.”
Here’s the thing: I can deal with failures and mistakes. Although they sting and are embarrassing at times. However, when I look back on my life I don’t want to regret “never stepping out in faith” or being too afraid to try. Disappointment and regrets are harder to swallow than mistakes.
What do you think? Have you ever had an idea that terrified you and also burned within your heart?
The other dream or idea is even crazier! But yet, it is like a seed in my heart that feels like it’s growing rapidly.
We want to Homeschool our girls. At this point, we intend to commit to one year. Starting next year: 2021. But we are open to starting this year, too.
Now, if we get crazy glances from people when we mention foster care (because we have our hands full already); I can imagine the looks of people when you read about homeschooling!!!!😂😂😂😂😄
That’s ok. I feel doubtful at times, too.
It feels the same as how I feel about fostering. Exciting and terrifying.
Trust me, I see my own weaknesses fairly clearly. Yet, it is not my weaknesses that define me. I want to live a life of faith. Of taking risks and trying new things. Of being willing to “give it a go”. Even if it doesn’t work out for our family, then I will be able to say “At least I tried”.
And maybe it is something God is leading us into? Maybe it isn’t a God idea, but a value I have on raising my kids? Or in the very least: a good intention.
I know that I cannot do everything, especially in my own abilities. But I have a Saviour called Jesus who does say that I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. That’s where the impossible, suddenly becomes possible. The weak becomes strong.
Who knows what will become of these hopes and dreams? Only God knows our future. All I know is that our future is in God’s hands. Whatever that may look like. As for me and my house, We will serve the Lord.